Maybe one day I’ll wake up and I won’t miss you at all

18 Jul 14 @ 6:32 am  —  reblog
The nights I’d spend awake

g-t-collection:

It was a bittersweet victory

So I spat it out

Only because I never allowed the bitter

To turn into sweet

Now I have a bitter defeat

Instead of a sweet victory.

06 Apr 14 @ 1:23 am  —  via + org  —  reblog
tabula rasa

Can I wipe clean

Every day

I ever spent with you

In exchange

For some peace of mind?

02 Apr 14 @ 9:33 pm  —  reblog
Getting Up After the Blow

Heart beating — ticks like an old clock

Whose hands have become ashen and grey

Heat spreading across like an unmanned wildfire

Taking away the homes and comfort of the helpless

Heavy arms, sodden, slouching under the weight of an undiscovered galaxy

Underneath and behind those heavy sticks and stones

Ribs crushed, unmoving, lungs invalid

Limbs numb, mouth aflame with unflinching pain

So many sticks coming from within, splinters resting on tongues

Eyes and ears alive…No pain, only senses

Pupils growing, vantage point stretching to the horizon, 

in hopes a savior

Squinting up at the clouds, in search of a single silver lining

Twitching, itching, waiting for the sound of sirens,

A declaration of a safe haven

              Still waiting

Beside, acquainted with those bothersome sticks and stones

Fingers grazing the gravel, allotted with the dirt

Embedded with splinters, completely unaware

Eyes roving over the cataclysm and calamity, to find some tranquil refuge:

              A lake, a flower, and a bee

What was that? A voice…a rescue

Above and in front of the sticks and stones

Lungs alive and new, air fresh and cool

Nerves set alight, fingertips sensible

the air is cool

Horizon, no rescue

Clouds, no silver lining

No declaration of a safe haven

A declaration of self

Recognition, respect, pride

Unflinching

02 Apr 14 @ 9:20 pm  —  reblog
Valentine Sleeps: You’re Chocolate to Me

I try to inhale every second you breathe so that when this ends, my lungs can still have a bit of you in them
To be reminiscent of those feverish kisses, lazy kisses, hopeful kisses
That you give so often
These kisses, though I know they are temporary, drive me
To the state line between insanity and desire Even when you aren’t giving them away like chocolate kisses on Valentine’s day I still crave them, awaiting the sweetness to melt on my tongue I still know it’s really poison but I can’t get enough You’re long gone now but I’m still here Straddling the state line between lust and fear

16 Mar 14 @ 8:19 pm  —  reblog
Cloud 9 Suffocation

She asked me what if felt like to be in love

And the only way I could think to describe it

Was being buried on cloud nine

Six feet under worry

Sometimes cremated in passion

Cloaked in the drape of longing

Buried in a casket of goodbyes

And all the same 

Stepping into lights of hope

And leaving the trials

Of living

28 Jan 14 @ 11:07 pm  —  reblog
#poetry  #poems  #writing  #love  
and I’m in love

I always fall too easily
Too often
And when I fall, I always fall hard brandishing myself with new bruises and scars
I fell for you because you smiled at me and when you did, I felt your heart beaming
And your soul warming as if my presence was enough
to appease you for an eternity
But then I saw others, everyone who meant nothing
And you smiled at them too like they were golden
By the time I realized, I had already convinced myself that we were each other’s happiness
And I couldn’t talk myself out of those notions
I fell for you because you were the first to tell me I was beautiful
And that it was more than just physical
That my soul made Adonis envious
Then I saw how you looked at them and I realized your words were just words
That were meaningless if you never looked at me the way you looked at her
br/> Some ethereal beauty, a perfection to admire up close
And I kicked myself while I was down for reading so much into your words
I fell in love with you because you held me
You kissed me
You loved me
Your kisses were not graceful yet they made me feel like royalty
Still I preferred the hugs when your arms
Would wrap so tightly around me but I would still grab on to more of you
Because that’s what love is
When you were finished,
I stayed on the ground, bloody, bruised, and used
Wondering why I still fall so easily
And I knew that it was because hostility breathes inside of me
That anger and bitterness surrounded me like risen Red Sea
And that your smile, your words, and your love was a raft
But not the one meant to rescue me

24 Dec 13 @ 11:33 pm  —  reblog
When soulmates break up

When I go down to night, praying it isn’t for good
I will dream of the good and bad that you were
I will create the world I imagine you are in now
And I will put trivial obstacles and everyday challenges in your way just so I can imagine how you would react and smile
I would put an insistent car salesman in front of you and giggle as you tell him to fuck off, that you don’t need a new
Whatever that he wants he to sell you
I would smile knowingly as you told the person eyeing you that
“Yes, these scars are permanent and so are these tattoos”
And think you are how to live
You are the manual
And now when I make my decisions
To go or not to go, to do or not to do, to love or not to love
I will remember that you would gladly choose what you loved
Because living is loving and vice versa
Because I was worth it in the end
When I wake up, forgetting would no longer be a desire, a plea but a dislike
Because remembering you is how I continue to love the person that you were

01 Dec 13 @ 12:42 am  —  reblog
Reflection

I sometimes feel like life is moving to fast for me to grasp and everything I wanted to do is just passing by

I sometimes feel like there is nothing I can do that will be right and that I will always be the fool

I sometimes feel like I try my hardest to impress, try my hardest to taste success but nothing comes from it and I am a failure in the end

I sometimes feel like I’m suffocating, smothered by the negativity that I can’t seem to get rid of…cutting bad ties has never been so hard

I sometimes feel totally helpless, caught between hero and inactive bystander, wanting to do something but being to chicken shit to act

I sometimes feel afraid like everything has come quicker than I expected and preparation was always a second thought never tended to

I sometimes feel like breaking down in the middle of everything, in the middle of the street, in the middle of the corridors busy with people who will never notice my anguish

I sometimes feel like dying because nothing is more difficult, more heartbreaking than only breathing and pretending to live

I sometimes feel like I can do nothing right, like life is an impossible fire to ignite, that success is milestones away from my mind, like I am incapable of finding the right time to show my abilities

I sometimes feel like going to sleep for a long time, not facing the challenges or the obstacles that continuously knock me over

I sometimes feel like dirt, there all the time, there for you to walk on, there for you to use as much as you want, but no matter how many times I help you, you still find it okay to kick me and fill me up with your burdens and bodies as if I don’t have any of my own

But on some days, I feel like celebrating because despite all of this, despite wanting to die, despite wanting to quit, despite wanting to sleep forever, despite incessant failure, I rise 

And I will keep rising until I want nothing more than to live, nothing more than to strive, nothing more than to wake up over and over again to

Face my constant success

30 Nov 13 @ 4:39 pm  —  reblog
#poetry  
Stars

She began to wonder if leaving was the only way to catch the stars
She began questioning her desires and aspirations
And it all started with a knock, a blow, a mere suggestion
That perhaps staying to care for the children she had yet to conceive
Was better than leaving all she knew to capture the things she didn’t
She began doubting her ability to conceive and comprehend
Her ability to believe and pretend
Her ability to think and create
Her ability to love, her ability to hate
The walls of her dreams began to crumble and
She ended up at home waiting for someone to come in
And tell her what to do
Because that’s what they wanted for you

30 Nov 13 @ 12:22 am  —  reblog
#poetry  #women  
OS